5 Easy Ways to Care for Those Who Lead
Guest Post by Kristen West
If churches awarded frequent flyer miles for every time folks were in attendance, I can assure you I’d have unlimited free air travel for the rest of my natural days (and I love to fly)!
I have spent my life in church. As a result, I’ve learned a few foundational things:
People are messy – even in church.
Life is hard – including in church.
Care is a key – especially in church.
But here’s a particularly disturbing thing I’ve noticed over the years. The higher up in leadership someone seems to be, the less likely they are to receive the attentive care they need from those around them.
It’s actually a principle that seems to penetrate all sectors of life. People who hold leadership positions (pastors, principals, CEO’s, supervisors, etc.) seem to juggle some of life’s heaviest loads while receiving the least amount of personal care within their professional circles.
The old saying, “It’s lonely at the top” seems to apply.
Most of us assume those in supervisory positions are good. They were qualified, mature, and strong enough to get that position of leadership in the first place, right? Why would they need any additional encouragement, support, or care from the rest of us?
Because they’re just people.
Truth be told, they actually need more care than most. They travel a road that tends to be very lonely, dotted with much criticism and little praise. They help shoulder the weight of other’s struggles and hardships all while trying to juggle their own.
In churches, for example, it’s expected that pastors should be pouring out their hearts, souls, and lives into their congregations and their communities. That’s what they’re “called” to do, isn’t it? Yet, as people – flesh and blood people – they have burdens, problems, troubles, and worries just like the rest of us.
How can we help? Is there a way we can actually care for them?
While the following list is nowhere near exhaustive, I’d like to suggest 5 easy and practical ways you can immediately begin to care for those who lead:
Pray for them. Better yet, write out your prayer and text or email it to them. I can’t think of anything more personal and caring than to let someone know you’ve taken the time to pray for them. Feel free to ask them how you can specifically be praying for them in the future (that tends to make pastors and other leaders happier than a 4-year old on Christmas morning).
Thank them. In a world where genuine thankfulness is a rare commodity, just reaching out to thank your pastor, supervisor, coach, or leader means more than most people realize. It’s free, yet worth so much. So often, we underestimate the value of thankfulness and bypass opportunities to let those around us know we see them and appreciate all that they do. (Bonus points here – the more specific you can be in your thankfulness and appreciation, the more personal and meaningful it is.)
Extend a hand. Is there anything you can take off their plate? Ask them! So many times we overlook this incredibly easy piece of care assuming that our supervisors will ask for help if they need it. But, more often than not, in the whirlwind of their days, they don’t. Take the initiative and ask. Chances are you can tangibly help relieve them just by taking a task or two off their plate.
Offer a shoulder. Again, the load our pastors and supervisors carry is weighty. Sometimes just having someone come up alongside them to listen to them talk about what’s going on in their world is care enough. Listening is the most disciplined part of any conversation and, when done with all your heart, conveys care at one of the highest levels.
Encourage unplugging. Down time can be extremely hard for a leader. The day to day pull from people can be difficult to shut off. Sabbath and other rhythms that provide quiet are crucial for the health and well-being of any leader. Help extinguish the enemy’s arrows of guilt by being their biggest fan and cheerleading this truth often for them so that they can unplug and refill their tank knowing that God supports, encourages, and commands us to do so.
Obviously, there are many additional ways to care for those who lead – from tokens of appreciation to notes of affirmation. If you have access to your supervisor’s strength or personality assessments (DISC, Enneagram, and such), take a look and see how they appreciate being valued the most. What speaks “care” to them on a personal and unique level?
My hope is that this helps all of us become more aware of those in leadership who seem to care for us so naturally so that we can extend that same grace and care back to them.
“Carry one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal. 6:2)
Kristen West works at Rock Bridge Community Church with a heart for staff leadership, development, and care. She is a communicator with a passion to inspire, encourage, and challenge others in their daily walk with Christ. She writes and publishes weekly content on her blog at kristen-west.com.